haha, thanks. neither of us are really morning people, but sure.

WE SHARE JOHN’S TINY HUMAN BED. IT GETS CRAMPED BUT I GUESS IT’S ALRIGHT.

it’s not tiny! it’s a full or something.

IS THAT BIG FOR HUMAN BEDS?

i don’t know. :B

EXACTLY. ANYWAY.

i usually wake up first. karkat’s grouchy if you wake him up too early. well i guess he’s kind of grouchy anyway, but it’s worse when he’s tired.

he has really gross morning breath. 

JOHN USUALLY MAKES ME SOMETHING TO EAT. MOST MORNINGS IT’S CLUCKBEAST EGGS AND BUTTERED BREAD TOAST. THAT’S THE ONLY THING HE DOESN’T BURN.

you’re not much better, buddy. 

"NOT MUCH" IS STILL BETTER.

while he’s eating i go shower and let him wake all the way up! he’s useless for like an hour and a half, haha.

IT’S BIOLOGICAL, YOU SHITWAD.

whatever! after that we watch tv for a while or go out, depending on the day. 

SAY THAT TO MY FACE NOT ONLINE MOTHERFUCKER. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

haha.

but really. fuck off!

MAYBE YOU’RE A RACE OF ALIEN TOO RUDE AND STUPID TO COMPREHEND BASIC ASS SHIT, AND THAT’S OK. BUT IT IS LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS HOW MUCH I WEIGH, OR WHY JOHN IS “TAN.” THIS IS ME MAKING A HUMBLE AND PLEASANT REQUEST.

this is both of us!

RIGHT. THE REQUEST IS: STOP SENDING US SHIT LIKE THIS. IT’S UNBECOMING AND I’D RATHER WATCH GHOST BUSTERS 2 FIFTY TIMES IN A ROW THAN READ ANOTHER ONE OF THESE BORING MESSAGES.

i’d rather watch ghostbusters 2 anyway.

YEAH. LET’S GO DO THAT. 

BYE. (:B

WHAT KIND OF TROLL DO YOU THINK I AM? NO, I DON’T ‘POSE SEDUCTIVELY BUT SUBTLY.’ NO, I AM NOT A GIGANTIC DOUCHEFLAKE. COME THE FUCK ON.

yeah, you’re not really subtle at all.

WOW, THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

but you can pretty seductive. remember when—

NO, STOP—

i don’t even know what you were doing, dude! it looked like you were really upset about your shoulder or something.

CAN WE NOT BRING THIS UP?

haha, you are so weird.

WHAT’S WITH THE FLOWERS?

that’s what happens when you’re seductive, karkat.

I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE JOKING.

hahahaha. i guess you’re not actually all that seductive or subtle.

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ASSUME WE’VE BEEN ON VACATION? IN CASE YOU WEREN’T AWARE WE ARE INCREDIBLY BUSY GUYS WITH A LOT OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF AND IF YOU THINK WE’VE GOT TIME TO DO ANY SLACKING WHATSOEVER-

dude, you’ve spent the last two weeks flagging youtube videos.

“DUDE,” YOU DID NOT NEED TO TELL THEM THAT, I’M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT. AND ANYWAY, I TOLD YOU, THOSE VIDEOS WERE CLEARLY AGAINST THE SITES COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT RULES AND REGULATIONS.

whatever. anyway, to answer your question, our break should be over now. sorry about that! we should be back on schedule now. :B

YOU HAVE ABOUT TWENTY SECONDS TO TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF AWFUL HUMAN HOLIDAY TRADITION HAS COMPELLED YOU TO PUT THAT ON YOUR HEAD.
it’s mistletoe! you’re supposed to kiss me under it!
WHY.
i don’t know. you just are.
NO.
GO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE.
karkat, that is infidelity. you don’t want to turn me into an adulterer, do you?
I’M NOT KISSING YOU UNTIL YOU TAKE OFF THAT GODFORSAKEN HEADDRESS.

are you suuuure?
YES.
really sure.
I’M SO SURE.
mmmmmmmmwah.
mwah.
AUGH.
JOHN.
OKAY.

WOW, FUCKING RUDE.
uh.
AREN’T YOU GOING TO SAY “EXCUSE ME?”
no dude, why would i do that??
in my culture, you’re supposed to say “bless you” when someone else farts. like you do for a sneeze.
THAT’S THE THE MOST UPSETTING THING I’VE EVER BEEN TOLD.
toots are a blessing on my planet.
it is release from the pain of intestinal gas.
GROSS.
come on karkat!
be culturally sensitive and bless my butt!!
UGH.
FINE.

BLESS YOU.

YOU JUST NEVER COULD GET THE NUMBER RIGHT ON THAT CELEBRATORY SHAME CONE.
WHY DID WE CHOOSE TO DOCUMENT THIS PARTICULAR MEMORY? I LOOK LIKE A BUFFOON.
because it was your first earth birthday!!
also you didn’t use your fork and it was hilarious.

haha, look how constipated you look.
IT’S BECAUSE WASN’T EXPECTING YOU TO LAY ONE ON ME WHILE WE WERE TRYING TO FIX YOUR NEW WEBCAM.
nah dude, you look like that all the time.

AND THIS WAS IMMEDIATELY AFTER.
you still look constipated.
THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY “SILLY FACE!”

he smiled!! yaaaaay!!!

THE MOMENTS YOU CHOOSE TO PRESERVE ARE CEASELESSLY HORRID.
I DON’T EVEN HAVE THE ENERGY TO BE EMBARASSED ANYMORE.

…how’d that get in here.
next pict-

dude is that me sleeping.
I WAS TRYING TO GET A COMPROMISING PICTURE OF YOU TO MAKE UP FOR ALL THE HIDEOUS SHOTS YOU’VE TAKEN OF ME.
SEE, YOU CAN’T SEE IT IN THE SHOT BUT YOU ARE SALIVATING LIKE A HUNGRY BARKBEAST AND IT’S EXTREMELY UNFLATTERING.
that’s not compromising, that’s just creepy. on your part.
DAMN IT I KNOW.

oh! and here’s us in disguise. this one is so cute.
and that’s the end!!