crowry give bobie his blog back
Anonymous

TAKES THE BLOG AND RUNS

haha, thanks. neither of us are really morning people, but sure.

WE SHARE JOHN’S TINY HUMAN BED. IT GETS CRAMPED BUT I GUESS IT’S ALRIGHT.

it’s not tiny! it’s a full or something.

IS THAT BIG FOR HUMAN BEDS?

i don’t know. :B

EXACTLY. ANYWAY.

i usually wake up first. karkat’s grouchy if you wake him up too early. well i guess he’s kind of grouchy anyway, but it’s worse when he’s tired.

he has really gross morning breath. 

JOHN USUALLY MAKES ME SOMETHING TO EAT. MOST MORNINGS IT’S CLUCKBEAST EGGS AND BUTTERED BREAD TOAST. THAT’S THE ONLY THING HE DOESN’T BURN.

you’re not much better, buddy. 

"NOT MUCH" IS STILL BETTER.

while he’s eating i go shower and let him wake all the way up! he’s useless for like an hour and a half, haha.

IT’S BIOLOGICAL, YOU SHITWAD.

whatever! after that we watch tv for a while or go out, depending on the day. 

SAY THAT TO MY FACE NOT ONLINE MOTHERFUCKER. SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

haha.

but really. fuck off!

MAYBE YOU’RE A RACE OF ALIEN TOO RUDE AND STUPID TO COMPREHEND BASIC ASS SHIT, AND THAT’S OK. BUT IT IS LITERALLY NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS HOW MUCH I WEIGH, OR WHY JOHN IS “TAN.” THIS IS ME MAKING A HUMBLE AND PLEASANT REQUEST.

this is both of us!

RIGHT. THE REQUEST IS: STOP SENDING US SHIT LIKE THIS. IT’S UNBECOMING AND I’D RATHER WATCH GHOST BUSTERS 2 FIFTY TIMES IN A ROW THAN READ ANOTHER ONE OF THESE BORING MESSAGES.

i’d rather watch ghostbusters 2 anyway.

YEAH. LET’S GO DO THAT. 

BYE. (:B

WHAT KIND OF TROLL DO YOU THINK I AM? NO, I DON’T ‘POSE SEDUCTIVELY BUT SUBTLY.’ NO, I AM NOT A GIGANTIC DOUCHEFLAKE. COME THE FUCK ON.

yeah, you’re not really subtle at all.

WOW, THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

but you can pretty seductive. remember when—

NO, STOP—

i don’t even know what you were doing, dude! it looked like you were really upset about your shoulder or something.

CAN WE NOT BRING THIS UP?

haha, you are so weird.

WHAT’S WITH THE FLOWERS?

that’s what happens when you’re seductive, karkat.

I CAN’T TELL IF YOU’RE JOKING.

hahahaha. i guess you’re not actually all that seductive or subtle.

btw responses are being colored by new friend crowry

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ASSUME WE’VE BEEN ON VACATION? IN CASE YOU WEREN’T AWARE WE ARE INCREDIBLY BUSY GUYS WITH A LOT OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO TAKE CARE OF AND IF YOU THINK WE’VE GOT TIME TO DO ANY SLACKING WHATSOEVER-

dude, you’ve spent the last two weeks flagging youtube videos.

“DUDE,” YOU DID NOT NEED TO TELL THEM THAT, I’M TRYING TO MAKE A POINT. AND ANYWAY, I TOLD YOU, THOSE VIDEOS WERE CLEARLY AGAINST THE SITES COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT RULES AND REGULATIONS.

whatever. anyway, to answer your question, our break should be over now. sorry about that! we should be back on schedule now. :B

ifixedyourfuckingmovie:

OKAY, I THINK THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO START, CONSIDERING THIS IS THE ONLY HUMAN MOVIE I HAVE EVER BEEN COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH. BEAUTIFUL STORY, THE SOUNDTRACK WAS GREAT, THE CASTING WAS GREAT. I DIDN’T CATCH SOME OF THE HUMOR, BUT JOHN LAUGHED HIS ASS OFF, AND I MEAN, IF HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY IT MUST’VE BEEN AT LEAST SOMEWHAT ENTERTAINING. HE LAUGHS AT LIKE EVERYTHING, BUT WHATEVER.

LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.


FIONA AND SHREK’S MATESPRITSHIP IS OBVIOUSLY THE FOCAL POINT OF THE MOVIE, AND IT’S BREATHTAKING. I MEAN. SHREK JUST FEELS SO GROSS COMPARED TO HER, HE CANT UNDERSTAND HOW SHE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CARE FOR SOMEONE AS UGLY AS HIM, BUT SHE DOES. BUT HE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW IT UNTIL THE END, AND…I JUST RELATE TO SHREK ON A VERY DEEP AND PERSONAL LEVEL.



NEXT THERE’S THE BLATANTLY CANON MOIRALLEGIANCE BETWEEN SHREK AND DONKEY. SHREK PITIES THE POOR ANNOYING JABBERING HOOFBEAST, ALTHOUGH BEGRUDGINGLY SO. DONKEY PITIES SHREK FOR HIS LACK OF COMPANIONSHIP, SO HE STICKS BY HIM. THAT LOYAL-ASS FUCKING…ASS. SHREK PROVIDES PROTECTION FOR DONKEY, AND DONKEY DOES WHAT HE CAN TO PACIFY HIM. HE’S HONESTLY PRETTY SHITTY AT THAT, BUT THEY MAKE IT WORK. THEY DO. SOME WOULD ARGUE THAT LATER IN THE SERIES, PUSS AND DONKEY BECOME MOIRAILS, BUT I COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DISAGREE. ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS IS WRONG. THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUSS AND DONKEY CAN’T BE PLACED IN A QUADRANT. IT’S PLATONIC. END OF STORY. EVEN MORE SHOCKING IS THE WORK I’VE DISCOVERED ON A WEBSITE CALLED FANFICTION.NET WHERE THEY ARE PORTRAYED IN A FLUSHED RELATIONSHIP. I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH THIS INFURIATES ME. WHY, YOU ASK?



DRAGON!  YOU’RE FUCKING FORGETTING THE BEAUTIFUL UNLIKELY FLUSHCRUSH THEY SHARE IN THE FIRST MOVIE, HOW SHE COMES TO HIS RESCUE, HOW HE BECOMES THE “BABY DADDY,” AS HUMANS SAY, TO ALL HER LITTLE MUTANT FIRE BREATHING DONKEY DRAGON BABIES.

SHREK IS A PERFECT FILM AS IS.

DON’T RUIN IT.

ifixedyourfuckingmovie:

OKAY, I THINK THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO START, CONSIDERING THIS IS THE ONLY HUMAN MOVIE I HAVE EVER BEEN COMPLETELY SATISFIED WITH. BEAUTIFUL STORY, THE SOUNDTRACK WAS GREAT, THE CASTING WAS GREAT. I DIDN’T CATCH SOME OF THE HUMOR, BUT JOHN LAUGHED HIS ASS OFF, AND I MEAN, IF HE THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY IT MUST’VE BEEN AT LEAST SOMEWHAT ENTERTAINING. HE LAUGHS AT LIKE EVERYTHING, BUT WHATEVER.

LET’S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS.


FIONA AND SHREK’S MATESPRITSHIP IS OBVIOUSLY THE FOCAL POINT OF THE MOVIE, AND IT’S BREATHTAKING. I MEAN. SHREK JUST FEELS SO GROSS COMPARED TO HER, HE CANT UNDERSTAND HOW SHE COULD POSSIBLY HAVE THE CAPACITY TO CARE FOR SOMEONE AS UGLY AS HIM, BUT SHE DOES. BUT HE DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW IT UNTIL THE END, AND…I JUST RELATE TO SHREK ON A VERY DEEP AND PERSONAL LEVEL.

NEXT THERE’S THE BLATANTLY CANON MOIRALLEGIANCE BETWEEN SHREK AND DONKEY. SHREK PITIES THE POOR ANNOYING JABBERING HOOFBEAST, ALTHOUGH BEGRUDGINGLY SO. DONKEY PITIES SHREK FOR HIS LACK OF COMPANIONSHIP, SO HE STICKS BY HIM. THAT LOYAL-ASS FUCKING…ASS. SHREK PROVIDES PROTECTION FOR DONKEY, AND DONKEY DOES WHAT HE CAN TO PACIFY HIM. HE’S HONESTLY PRETTY SHITTY AT THAT, BUT THEY MAKE IT WORK. THEY DO. SOME WOULD ARGUE THAT LATER IN THE SERIES, PUSS AND DONKEY BECOME MOIRAILS, BUT I COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY DISAGREE. ANYONE WHO THINKS THIS IS WRONG. THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN PUSS AND DONKEY CAN’T BE PLACED IN A QUADRANT. IT’S PLATONIC. END OF STORY. EVEN MORE SHOCKING IS THE WORK I’VE DISCOVERED ON A WEBSITE CALLED FANFICTION.NET WHERE THEY ARE PORTRAYED IN A FLUSHED RELATIONSHIP. I CAN’T EVEN BEGIN TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH THIS INFURIATES ME. WHY, YOU ASK?

DRAGON! YOU’RE FUCKING FORGETTING THE BEAUTIFUL UNLIKELY FLUSHCRUSH THEY SHARE IN THE FIRST MOVIE, HOW SHE COMES TO HIS RESCUE, HOW HE BECOMES THE “BABY DADDY,” AS HUMANS SAY, TO ALL HER LITTLE MUTANT FIRE BREATHING DONKEY DRAGON BABIES.

SHREK IS A PERFECT FILM AS IS.

DON’T RUIN IT.

YOU CAN ALL STOP PLEADING NOW. I’M A PRETTY BUSY GUY BUT I’LL KEEP THIS UPDATED AS MUCH AS I CAN, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS YOU’D ALL BE LOST WITHOUT MY GUIDANCE ON THIS.